Live life with no regrets.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Ministry Day

Woke at 9am on sat morning. Met Pastor for breakfast at 10.15am for toast bread, eggs and ice milo at the coffee shop behind church. It was really fantastic. haha.You should try it one day. hehe.

Ministry day started at 11am. I felt discouraged today. Seen and heard how Titus and Jordan preached. I felt they were better than me when I had already led a few sessions of cell group. I mean there were really good for beginners. Probably I felt inferior. haha. I know I shouldn't feel this way. Everytime after cell group I felt bad because I know I have failed to deliver the message to my best ability. Probably I din put in much effort in preparing for the message or I have failed in presenting the message to the people. I know that my cell members did not received what they had expected. I am so sorry.

I know I should'nt feel discouraged or demotivated. Instead I should learn from others. But, I am so ordinary. Its really inevitable that I will feel this way. Being honest, I really struggle with the difficulties in leading cell. It's not as easy as you guys thought. So many people under my care. Delivering and presenting the word, growing each individual, calibrating their expectations. And most importantly, multiplying the cell. HOW HOW HOW??? Haiz. But don't worry guys. I will renew my strength in the Lord to lead cell. I won't give up on myself. hahah. You guys are my darlings. I don't bear to. hahaa.

I am not very efficient today. Supposed to print the Bible Reading Chart today, but took a long time to align the alignment of the pic and chart, of cos with Jordan's help la. Thanks ah. haha. But, printer ink was down. So. not able to print in the end. So sorry ppl. The camapign will start one week later. As the chart will only be ready next week. Supposed to meet Candy for refreshed!! at 4.30pm, but because I was rushin the chart, it was cancelled. SO, I ended up not completing anything. I am so sorry Candy. I really wanna meet you. So Sorry. We will meet next week. Confirmed! :)

Regina was very kind and understanding. Thanks for that. I supposed to help he solve her bulletin printing, but because I was really focusing on doing the chart, she did it herself instead. I was actually very stress in doing the chart, but the moment I see her smile, I was much relaxed. haha. Thanks Regina.

Sorry Candy and Regina, for not being able to spend time wth guys. Next week ok? haha

I also wanna take this opportunity to thank Sylvia. I read your blog. It was encouraging. I will always remember that. Thanks dear. :)

Oh another thing, Joshua brought one of his classmate to church to study. haha. Though he did not stay for service, but he seems quite open. YO2 members, let's pray that there is opportunity to outreach him ok and let's work hard towards our 45 goal ok?

Update you guys soon. :)

Learning to stand,

Freda

Friday, September 28, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

God's Blessings

Curious of what had God blessed me? haha. I shall tell you. The story goes like this...

Yesterday, I went over to Pauline place to stay over. She woke up very early for work this morning. She left the house at 7am. But I continue to sleep as I do not need to go to work as early ma. So thinking that I can sleep until 7.30am, who knows the phone rang. Pauline called. She had forgotten to bring down Titus's o level cert. ( For your info, Titus asked her help to fax his o'level cert to his employer as she does not have a fax machine.) So Pauline called to ask me to throw the documents in an envelope down to her. All the way from 7 storey. So I put the envelope into an NTUC plastic bag and threw down. Pauline was waiting down there for me. She was standing beside a big tree. The stupid thing is that I tried to throw side way thinking that the plastic will follow the direction in which I threw. I totally forgotten the presence of the WIND and the BIG TREE. So, in deed the plastic bag flew right in the middle on top of the tree.

Tell you what, the moment we saw that scene, I knew in my heart that's it! Pauline face turned black. As she was rushing to work. And the tree was taller than Pauline and you know that the depth of the branches and leaves made it very dense. So Pauline was unable to reach. So I threw down an umbrella thinking that it would help. But it was too short. So in the end. Pauline borrowed a bamboo stick from the provision shop uncle. And luckily it was long enough to poke the tree. And the plastic bag flew right down on the floor. Haha. So Paiseh.

Mo mo, don't angry with me ok? I'm really sorry for what happened this morning. Probably I am sleepwalking. haha. Rubbish la. Really sorry. Forgive me ok? haha. I am so innocent. heheheh.

Luckily the documents were still in good condition, if not, not only Pauline will be angry but Titus will also come after my life. haha. What a close shave. hahaa. It was 7.10am. We stuggled for that terrible 10mins. And I, of cos did not go back to slp la. Too shocked to fall into any dreams liao. So, I clean up myself and get ready for work. I took bus 76 instead of MRT. Cos I really have too much time. Usually, I left home at 745am, Now I left home at 715am. And I reach my workplace at 815am, instead of the usual 840am. haha. Well. for your info I start work at 8.45am. hehe. My colleagues were surprise why I am in the office so early. haha. But of cos, I din tell them what happened la. If not, they will laugh till there jaws drop.

But however, I kept asking myself why I din throw the plastic bag on the open ground beside that big tree. All Pauline need to do is to walk there instead of trying to poke the tree and find where is the plastic bag rite? Probably I was really tired, haha. Excuse la. haha

Blur,

Freda

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

...Reminder...

I was reminded of the time that I went Sydney for Hillsong Conference when I came across Syl's blog. Marty Sampson. I will never forget the feeling of being in Acer Arena in Sydney Oylimpic Park! Wow! The atmosphere was just so extravaganza. hahah. The focus then are not on members of Hillsong United (I mean those guitarists drummers and blah blah blah), because the focus is really on God. And of cos the speakers who share the inspiring messages with us. hhaa. We seen many clips of the compassion. Throughout the 5 days conference, they were encouraging people to take up the sponsorship of those kids. There are really very unfortunate. Pauline and I had the intention to sponsor one kid. However, somehow I only wanna sponsor kids from Cambodia. But as I flip through the pics of those kids. I can't find one from Cambodia. So, the idea was off. hhaa. It costs about A$40 to sponsor one kid. Quite cheap actually but there are really too many of such kids in the world. Can we possibly help all? That is the question that I have always been pondering. haha.

Anyway, back to the conference. Though the Pauline and I had a tough time there, lacked of delicious food and sleep. And living in a place like North pole to me. ahaha. But I gain much there I would say. I came to contact with people from all walks of life and countries. Caught a glimpse of how the world are worshipping the Lord. In unity, we came to worship God in the Acer Arena. WOW. haha. Great isn't it?

Besides the conference, everything else were bad. extremely bad. haha. Food were ex, acommodation was ex, transportation was ex. Basically everything. hhah. Sydney is a developing city. Not as beautiful as Singapore. I mean what is there to see in Singapore anyway. hahah. But, the view of the Opera House was fantastic. haha. Phew. haha. We were enjoying the night breeze from the ferry actually. COLD is the word to describe as we were sitting at the balcony. haha. We will be going Sydney again in the year 2009. hhaa. Because we need to save up ma. And next year we will be going Taiwan!!! Yeah. Eat slp eat slp. PIGS. hahah

Wow. Getting excited on what's happening in time to come. Yeah. Are you excited over yours? Time to think about it. hehe.

Blessed abundantly,

Freda

Monday, September 24, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Pain...

Wow what a monday that I am experiencing now. I am very very very tired and bored. This morning, rain heavily, I actually have no intention to wake up and go to work. haha. But I doesn't want to waste my leave so, haiz. discipline myself and pull myself despite the total rebelliouness ( no such word )inside of me. haahaha Life at work is really killing me. I rather be a student then being a working adult man. At least I am more carefree and I can take nap every day after school being being a student. Now, cant take nap. cannot move around. Nothing to do, just waiting for time to pass. Eyes are closing any moment from now. hahaha. Still waiting for a another 1hr before I can leave this boring place. hahah

Well anyway, I shall share what happened last 2 days. hahah. I think many of our church members have already been blogging on sat event on how fun are the games. In fact, the games are really fun, especially the first game. The chairs game. And it gives Titus and and Gui Ming a big chance to step on my toes! Can you imagine being stomped my these 2 super big elephants. My cute little 3rd toe on my right already stained blue. I mean blue black. Alamak. How are you guys going to compensate!!!!!! Heartless creatures. All you guys know is to step and say sorry. But, what else can I do. Forgive lo. haha. Anyway, thank goodness, Titus brought an extra pair of slippers that sat, haha. of cos, he lend me la. so drama right. ok . Ignore me. hahaha. Thanks Titus. :)

Then thats all for that sat. Now on SUnday. I woke up at 10am to clear my house so that these 8 ppl ( Andrea, Pauline, Edmund, Gui Ming, Jordan, Donavon, Candy, Chu Ting ) can enjoy steamboat in a nice environment, Thank me hor. Suppose to meet Reg at 11.30am, but she overslept. Aiyo. Then she told me that she won't be coming for the steamboat as she is tired. Haiz. Pang Seh!! hahah. So i went to meet Edmund and Pauline to buy the food at NTUC Xtra at 12pm. Then we went back to prepare the food. Wah liao. Guy are really pigs. All they know is to relax and eat. Expect food to be serve to their mouth. haha. At least, if Titus were here, he will help out. alamak. Guys, learn from him hor. haha. Then the funny thing is that, CAndy and Chu Ting went to church, thinking that we are having our lunch there. So, obviously when those guys called them to check where are they, they were shouting and screaming back at them, WHY NEVER SAY EARILER??? hahah. A bit exggerating. haha. Sorry ladies, its my fault. Forgive me ok. hahah.

Of cos we waited for them to start la. haha. Then we went to Pearlin's place to eat dinner at around 6+. Its actually a celebration of Mooncake Festival at her mum's coffeeshop. The chicken wings are FANTASTIC!!!! hahaah. I'm loving it!! I ate 2. haha. Thanks for inviting us girl. I went on my own accord la. As you know, I am super duper thicked skin. hahah. Her mum is nice too. Thanks ya. :)

Reached home at 9pm sharp. Wow, its early but I'm tired. After that have been slacking at home. hah. Yeah . Thats' my sunday. hehe

Will update again. Cya...

Conqueror,

Freda

Friday, September 21, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Adapting to Myself

Wow. Such a different feeling that I had woke up with, this morning. A very weird, strange environment. haha. I made a decision yesterday!!! On the 20th September 2007. at 11.45pm. I shall keep the secret decision to myself. haha.

It's back to adapting to a new refreshing life with myself. Out of a sudden, I realised I was extraordinary and special. Someone said I was special a year ago. And I believed I am special. A brave girl, I would call myself. haha. However, I slept with a light heart last night, though mixed feeling were running all over me. haha. Probably God had already given me a sign some time ago, but because I hold it to tight that I am not willing to let go. Finally I did, last night. Life ahead of me seems to be quite blur. But, I have cleared away the mist and fog that had blocked my sight. I hope sunny weather to be coming my way. haha.

Sorry guys, if I have been blogging negative blogs in the past 1 month. I hope postive blogs will be presented to you from now on. haha. Suddenly I felt like singing Umbrella. haha. Umbrella, eh eh eh eh ella. ella. ella, eh eh eh eh. Sounds awful, becos I dunno the lyrics. lala. haha. I heard it in the Pasa malam, when I went for lunch earlier on. haha.

Can anybody tell me what kind of person I am? Pretty, sweet , beautiful, considerate, sensitive, understanding? haha. Whatever I am, God still accepts me. haha. Thank you God! Kinda bored today, Basically, I have nothing to do in the office. Apparently, NOTHTING! Getting paid hourly without putting in any effort. Seems easy money isn't it. BUT! Wah liao. Life is so boring , when one is so not occupied with anything to do. haha. Luckily, I won't stay in this job for long, if not life will be so slacky and meaningless. haha.

Well, so looking forward to next year. haha. Pauline and I will be planning a trip overseas to Taiwan , most probably. hha. To celebrate my 19th Birthday! Yeah. I told her I do not want to celebrate in Singapore, and she said ok, let's go. ahah. Working adults are more free and easy in the area of holidays. We plan our holidays ourselves. haha. To all students, dun worry, your free and easy holidays will come one day. haha.

Well, I guess, I am a bit back to normal already. I wanna be the Freda, 2 years back. haha. I will. Thats when, I felt I am most beautiful. Really, Beautiful in my own extent. haha.

Just wanna share with you guys, if ever you became weak, discouraged, or lost, always remember, we have a God that has been carrying us through the darkest valley. He never fails... and this is a promise from HIM.

I will always believe "Where ever God leads, God provides".

Extraordinary,

Freda

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Oceans Will Part

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Always praying for God to work in my life. Probably I may be doing too much on my own accord. Probably its really time to let go. But its really hard because I have fallen too deep, Wu Fa Zi Ba. I really pray one day things will be the same like the past, but it will only happen if God creates a miracle. This will become my prayer and birthday wish each year. You may laugh at me and find me silly, but for once, I would like to be child-like. I will not blame anyone of the outcome, I will learn in the process.

In the meantime, I pray for God's healing and comfort. As HE is the only one I can rely on.

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Dear Lord,

If its meant to be, then give me a sign or promise. Like a rainbow...

Thank you...

I will be strong,

Freda

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Finally Cleared...

Wow! Some misunderstandings were finally cleared. haha. There were some misunderstandings between me and my beloved sheep. haha. Well, we had a good fellowship today and finally, we talked our hearts out. haha. which means we were transparent to one another. Actually, to be honest, I love all my sheep. They are precious to me. If not for them,I won't be where I am today. haha.

However, a note to all my sheep. ( for your info, all Y02 members are my sheep ) As a cell leader and shepherd, I may not meet all your needs all at once. But rest assure that I am trying to meet as many as possible. If you see me spending more time than the other, I prayed for your understanding that you will not mistaken that I am outcasting you. It's just that I am spending time with my other sheep,and meeting their needs. I hope I can have 25 / 26 hours a day, so that I can meet more of you in a day, but God only gave me 24 hrs a day. Which means I am limited in the time given to me. But please trust me that deep in my heart, I am thinking of all of you guys everyday.

Throughout my Christian life all these years, my greatest achievement is to lead Y02. This is the responsibilty that God had given me. I wanna protect it and prosper it because this is God's business. haha. However, I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to those whom I have neglected. I dun mean it. seriously. I'm sorry, and I pray for your forgiveness. I will learn to be more sensitive from now on. :)

Next, talking about my personally life. haha. Things are quite settled. I have decided to let GO, and let God. Finally, I am able to put a pause in all the negative feelings. :) Well done, Freda!! It has been a trying time for me these 2 months. Done so much, but to no avail. In fact rejection is all that I got. I believe, I can say I am a strong woman now. I wont cry, and I will not. I do not know what God has plan ahead for me, but I am leaving it to HIM. Because only HE knows what best for me. If HE chooses STARS for me, I will take STARS. If HE chooses the MOON for me, I will take the MOON. I know God have made me valuable and precious. I will be valued and treasured!!

haha. I am excited of God's plan for me next year!!! Pastor shared some vision and directions from God with me regarding next year, and I am very motivated. I am able to something great for God!!! haha. All I ask for in life, is to serve HIM. I promise I wont hate any of the plans that HE had prepared for me. Instead, I will treasure the process of each stage. Only then, I will know, I will see the truth of the light of reality.

Abit chim, but nevermind, haha. I will share my life experience with you guys, one day...

Stronger,

Freda

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Wahaha!!

Yoz ppl!! Haha. How's life?? Mine is rather good. Recently, there are alot of catching up with cell members. We played pool like countless times. haha. Joking la. Not so exggerating la. hehe. I personally felt that Y02 relationships with one another are getting better and closer yeah? But well, members of Y02, we got to buck up in increasing the no. of members in our cell. We cant't stay stagnant for 8-9 members for ever. We got to multiply and split cell yeah? Who will be the next cell leader? haha.

Pastor is giving me pressure in multiplying so in turn, of cos the pressure will ultimately go to you yeah. We are a team. haha. All for 1, 1 for All. Yeah!! haah. Ok enough of this. Please work hard ppl. Anyway, ppl please be reminded that cell group in on this thursday at 730pm. Reason being, Syl is on afternoon shift due to attachment, Gui Ming is enjoying chalet and Jordan will be celebrating his Dad's birthday. I apologise for the inconvenience caused. We hope that there will be lesser changes in future. However, our actual day for cell group is still on TUESDAY. Please take note, Thanks.

Have been rather busy with work recenty. haha. But well, thats a good thing because it makes time seems to pass faster haha. I am more focus in my work now. Dunno due to wat reason. haha. Life seems to be more steadfast now. I like that feeling. hehe. My dreams, aspirations and aims seems to revive. haha. I am happy. What adds to my happiness was that relationship with mum got closer too, I guess. As I am the only daughter staying with her now, my dad and I are the only ones who can talk to her now. haha. So, I think thats how our relationship got better. hehe.

Oh ya, dear all, please also take note that Sylvia will be leaving for Indonesia this Sat from Sep 15 - Oct 8. Do send your regards when you see her ya? Sylvia!!!! We will miss you definitely. We missed your barang barang even more. haha. jkjk. Do remember to do your QT at home ah. haha

Lastly, we will all go Kayak this sunday? Any objections? haha. Do tag my board or msg me if your are interested. Its not a cell outing, its open to all. Members of Y01 and Y02, all are welcome. It will be better if you wanna bring your friends along. Outreach is our main MISSION. haha. Anyway, we will set off from AMK Hub Bus Interchange at 8.30am at the 135 Bus Stand. Don't be late people. Cya...

Your sweetest friend,

Freda

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Wow Feeling..

I am feeling refreshed!! very.. Haha. I finally completed the book "FACING YOUR GIANTS"! Yeah. haha. I took around 2 weeks + to complete. hha. Power right. I read it every day while I am in the train. I am able to complete 2-3 chapters already. This is the first time I am so consistant in reading my book. haah. Besides, reading the book "BOY MEETS GIRL". Any of you who are interested can always come to me. haha. However, the book is with Jordan. But, I doubt he spend the time reading it. haha. The book is good for those who are curious in the BGR. At least, it benefitted me. haha.

I am totally fine! Peeps. God healed the wounds in me. No more worries for me. haha. But well, I will always take precaution of Satan's trap!. Beware. People. haha. Yesterday, Titus told me to take not of my speech. As in what that comes out of my mouth. Words, such ad KNS, BLOODY HELL, BLAH BLAH. should not come out of my speech. He wants me to show respect. Alamak. I just mean to be funny sometimes. But, well since its for my own good, I will take note from now on. Do remind me if you hear me speaking such words. I cant be possibly be speaking these words to young children next year rite? OS pls help me!!!! Haha.

Recently, cell group is getting more and more fun and interesting. haha. Last Cell was Sylvia first time playing the keyboard in cell. She played well for her first try. Time flies and its already the third month that I am into Cell Group. Seeing each of them grow spiritually makes me happy deep within. Especially seeing Gui Ming and Candy being regular for Service and Cell Activities. And Regina and Sylvia, getting more spiritually involved. haha. And you know what? For the first time I preached for 25mins. haha. Sylvia timed me. It was my longest sermon so far. haha. I m improving. yeah?

Last night, I went to watch Ratatouille with Pauline, Candy, Karen and Regina. It was a 2 hour show. haha. We sat at the 2nd row from the front. Too bad, the tickets are selling out fast, thats's why. However, we all enjoyed the show. hahah. I learnt something, limit is in within the soul. Nothing limits us, because we serve a limitless God! Amen? haha.

Oei, Candy, Regina and Karen, Hows your secret date after the show? hahaha. Played pool? Nobody updated me on that. Do let me know ah. After work, I will going to visit my auntie at SGH, and will shock Sylvia after her work. Yeah. Will have a chance to see her cleaning backsides. haha. JKJK. I mean , I can see her in dress. Missy dress. hahah.

Ok, time to pack to knock. Cya...

the faith filled...

Freda

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Enjoying Life with YOU is all I ask for...

Brave...

Dunno why, while I am blogging, I was tearing. Today was a day that God made me brave. He gave me the courage to do something extrodinary. But however, before I said what I did, I just wanna apologise to a dear fren of mine. I do not whether you will read my blog, but I wanna say, I treasure you much, never did I wanna hurt you in any ways. Please trust me...

Some issues were sorted out clearly today. Issues that were extremely important to me. Things that concern my whole being. I was rejected as a whole. I fall extremely bad. Lost the strength to carry myself up. And When I look up, I think of how God smiles to me, I teared even more. I know that I have hurt God too. But even though I had hurt HIM much, HE still forgives and love me as who I am.

Nobody knows exactly how I feel right now, only God knows. The struggle of keeping it to myself is a torture. But I reallly cant disclose to anybody. Not that I don't trust people around me, but because its something real personal.

After the rejection, I let out a big cry. So much that my eyes were swollen. At that moment, my dreams and aspirations seems to be taken away by it. I felt empty. All these dreams and aspirations are my motivations to live each day to the fullest. I am excited to see each day pass. Because, I am waiting for that very very very day... A day, that will change my entire life. But... I was left alone, to fulfill that dream. I do not know how, all I know was to cry and cry and cry at that very moment.

After the cry, God asked me not to give up. He wants me to pursue it. I did what most girls would not do. I decide to run forward, even though I know that there are chances that I will get rejected again. But still, I took the courage to pursue it. I will continue to run and run until God give me a sign. People may find me silly, but at least I am pursuing what I want, even if I failed, I will have no regrets.

For the next few years, it will be tough on me, because I will be running the race alone. No more companion. But, as long as I carry the faith, I believe one day, my companion will give me a hand. No matter how tough, no matter how hard, no matter how much tears, no matter how much sweat, I will complete the race. Because I can see it, I can have it!

If you see me getting weary, please remind me that I will see the day coming. I will...

Pau, Thanks for your shoulder. :)

Brave girl,

Freda