So badly... Finally, Lord, everything was clear. So clear that I was smashed. God, nobody would believe me, only You. People streotyped me and I was put into the cold blooded room. I know I would never find the one, unless you provide one. Hurts were increasing on a daily basis. But God, healing comes slowly. As I ask You today, would You set me free from these sufferings? I plead of you. I don't wanna give up even though Satan voice is louder than ever. Can you give me the strength to carry on? I wanna change today, Lord would you believe me? I failed many times in the past that people loses trust in me. I cant control the fact that I'd failed, but would you give me another chance?

Will anyone still remember I am only 18 years old. Like any ordinary girl out there running after fashion and busy with assignments? Will anyone still look up to me as a leader of such young age? Does being mature something that I can change? Does looking above my age a sin?

Who would understand the trauma I went through. I do not have to broadcast, but all I asked from you is that you are true and accept me for who I am. My close friends are not people of my age but people much more senior than I. Am I wrong in that? Does that means that peers have to regard me as seniors? Where have all the girls gossip and girls late night chats went to? Does it stops there ever since I left my Secondary School? Who else can I trust besides the almighty God that I serve? Can I be as innocent as my peers for once? I felt lonely because I felt rejected by the world. The world seems to be a stranger to me that I find it hard to communicate. All my dreams and aspirations seems to leave me very far. Dear Lord, can you regain the confidence in me? Build a woman that strong in faith and unbreakeable. Only you will have the patience to listem to all that I have said and someone I can count on. Please forgive me of my past trangressions. I am sorry and will learn from mistakes. For once last time, I ask in your name, Purify me once again Lord.

In Jesus' Name

Amen.